Random Thoughts by Pauline

October 2016

A leisurely afternoon

I don’t always see my son’s family. In the first place, we don’t live in the same neighbourhood. And when I am less occupied during the weekend, Hayley, my grand-daughter is. As to the long holidays, either Hayley has to prepare for examinations or the family has travel plans.

I proposed weeks ahead that we go for a ride in the New Territories. Elly, my daughter-in-law came up with the idea of going to Lake Egret Nature Park and the Wishing Tree in Taipo. With destinations decided, we waited for the right Sunday.

Came October 9 with mild sun and gentle breeze, I drove to pick up the family at Middle Road, Tsimshatsui. They were punctual. Hayley was disappointed to find out that she was not sitting in the front with me. Instead Vincent my son took the seat. I had to rely on the Google map for directions and so he functioned as the co-pilot! It worked. We arrived at Lake Egret Nature Park in about 30 minutes.

We dined at the restaurant which was almost full. Then we had a tour of the place as this was the first visit for us all. Next came the feeding time and finally the boat ride.

Hayley enjoyed herself very much paying $10 for a bunch of grass to feed the anxiously awaiting goats. She also pedalled ferociously in the boat. She was the first to spot the egrets, one perching by itself on the rock in the centre of the man-made lake and another flock of four resting on the branches of the trees.

The place, though not really expansive, is a popular venue for corporate training sessions and family activities including birthday, wedding and barbecue parties. Here is a vivid example of what makes Hong Kong – innovation and entrepreneurship!

We left with Hayley nagging why the DIY classes were closed for the day. The next stop was the Wishing Tree in Lam Chuen!

Random Thoughts by Pauline

October 2016

So tired!

It was the Monday following Chung Yeung Festival or the Double Ninth Festival, the day we pay respects to our ancestors. I had arranged with my sisters to visit my parents’ niche in Diamond Hill Columbarium. Actually it was my father’s niche but long before her passing away, my mother had it processed for her urn be placed alongside with my father’s. As the columbarium is conveniently located and we still miss my mother, we go there quite often not only on ancestor-worship days. There is no elaborate practice. We just bring her flowers and stand there in front of the niche. With eyes fixed on the photo, we talk to her.   

I boarded the MTR at Kowloon Tong Station at about 11 in the morning. I was so pleased to find the compartments not crowded at all. As I seated myself, the man at the other end of the bench caught my attention. He was sound asleep. He must be dead tired. I started making up stories around him.

“Can he be a night-shift janitor on his way home?” I know a security guard taking two shifts for three days of the week. Or “has he taken a long homeward-bound journey?” I was almost sure that he was heading home because otherwise, he would not be this relaxed in such deep sleep.

This observation of passengers and exercising my imagination has always been my favorite pastime when commuting until phone games captured me. In recent months, I succeeded to redeem myself and I am now back to this fun-filled mind game.

We are much smarter on our own without the smart-phone.

Random Thoughts by Pauline

October 2016

Love thyself

Have there been moments in life when you feel so negative inside that you actually hate yourself? You are in desperate need of support and yet too private or proud to seek help! Time to switch on the self-rescue mechanism!

One tends to eagerly dive into pleasing experiences to bury unpleasant ones. Fine-dining! Binge drinking! Shopping sprees! Going on a trip! Changing oneself physically! The list can go on. But to one’s dismay, the transient comfort these bring just comes and goes and the negative emotions resurface. One is again drowned in the sea of desperation.

I have a friend who has not been sound asleep for years and another one who sobs all of a sudden and seemingly unprovoked! Both of them have tried all sorts of self-help devices but they are still not able to salvage themselves!     

If my two friends truly do love themselves, they have to take the bull by the horns - rationally analyze the causes of their negativity! But they don’t. And until now, I do not have the courage to frankly talk to them fearing that I might lose them!

Can I tell them that they are but numbing themselves? The vacuum is not filled! The relationship is still sour! They are still swept aside! The gap is not closed! The career is still going nowhere! Observation tells me that they have become so used to the pain that eradicating it might leave them at a loss.

My two friends share one commonality – they love someone or something more than themselves. In one case, it is her man – someone’s husband. For the other friend, it is his job! They spend all their time and energy on these “love affairs” totally ignoring themselves and yet are not “rewarded” as they think they should have.

The first step they should take is to slowly step back to examine their own needs and desires. They should find time for self-care and self-love! Enjoy the me-time pleasure! They might feel guilty at first but once they get past it, salvation is close!

Random Thoughts by Pauline

October 2016

Elegance

Elegance does not come with a price tag! A woman can be wearing haute couture carrying a Hermes bag with face and hair perfectly done and yet she does not exuberate an ounce of elegance. Neither can elegance be linked with age as it is beyond skin-deep.

Elegance is in the way a lady gestures or talks and the gracefulness she impacts on people. It is gentleness and calmness displayed in the most beautiful way! The lady can be all wrinkled wearing an old sweat shirt working in the garden, but the pleasantness about her creates an aura that transmits simplicity and dignity. In other words, “elegance” is in the eyes of the beholders!

Elegance comes from peace of mind and heart backed up with culture and confidence. There are no negative sentiments because they have all been resolved or internalized not merely subdued. But elegance is not to be interpreted as weakness. One can fight for a cause without resorting to foul language or the fist.

Can elegance be learned such as by attending etiquette classes? Well, one can master all the table manners without displaying any elegance if she follows the steps robotically. Elegance is more than knowing how to fold the napkins or which fork to use!